I apologize for my blog looking so damn plain. The stupid template cant be edited. So I am just going to blog like this. Haiz This coming Wednesday it is all going to be over. 3 months of hard practice. All boils down to this wed. my heart just constricts(how does this happen?) whenever I think of what we must achieve. Gold with honours. I want it so damn badly. I must not lose hope. I am tired. Of thinking over it again and again. Seriously..what did I even do to these ppl? Sometimes I wonder if it is just me and I am the one at fault or do some ppl just have nth better to do but act like bitches and idiots. Everything started out fine but now.. my life just seems so damn useless and I don’t even know what I am doing or why I am doing what I am doing.. what happened to all those wonderful frenz I left crescent with? Tanu is on the other side of singapore ¾ of the time and nowadays I don’t even have time to call her. She was one of those few ppl who I know I cld trust with my life and wld always be there to remind me that I cld achieve anything I want in life. Banu. I cant even rmb when was the last time I really talked to her. Monica. My class rocks but I just want monica there in aj. She is so damn practical and not so muggerish but even if she is , she is open abt it. And most imptly, she is not hypocritical like certain ppl in aj. We used to do everything tgt. It is funny how we were not so close in crescent but now.. haiz.. and I dunno. Priya was one of my realli close frenz from hindi sch, but now, it seems like my being in aj is separating us, I hope it is not the case that she does not trust me anymore. Coz now I know certain ppl, if onli she wld tell me. Coz I wld definitely believe her over some other ppl whom I have only known for 3 months. In aj, I feel that what appears to be on the surface is not the truth. Everyone says sth and does sth else. Those considered close to me have evaporated into the sky. Is it still worth my effort to continue trying? I dunno. I am tired. I just keep on wishing that all this was unreal and one day everything wld change and my life wld be peaceful again and I wld always be surrounded by ppl whom I will always love and who will always love me no matter what. Mujhe aasha hai ki mujhe paatshalla mein karib aur sache doste milenge……