Is it just me...

Or do you feel the same way too? ......................................................................................................................................................... I hate having crushes. .................................................................................................................................................... Seriously. It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so that nothing and no one can hurt you, you tell yourself that you will only consider anyone in university and right now, studies are more important and you shld not let anyone who you know for such a short time control your thoughts and feelings and affect your studies and life and you shld remember your family and work hard for them… ...................................................................................................................................................... But then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life . . . They do something dumb one day like smile at you, and show care like no one else and talk a tad sincerely at times and then your life isn't your own anymore. It gets inside you. You start being on the lookout for that person wherever you go. And every small stupid thing considering that person is stuck in my head... It’sall just soo damn stupid. .................................................................................................................................................. Where has my rational thinking gone to? I wish I was like M at times. She is just so focussed and always is practical and she doesn’t lose control over herself over some guy. I keep on reminding myself that I only know this person for like how long? It sucks. On top of that, neither is he my type nor am I his, then why god why? And what is even worse is that here I am crying in the darkness while he most probably is carrying on with life unperturbed. ........................................................................................................................................... It hurts. It’s a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Gosh, It’s all so unfair. ....................................................................................................................................................... I feel that teenage girls, esp. me, should be disabled from having crushes on normal people (bollywood heroes not included) because it's a complete waste of time and thought.